Mission Accomplished 

All I pray is to be a strong and resolute mother, and never get daunted by failures or challenges ….

Since early in the morning, the messages are flooding my mobile. Personal messages, group messages with the same subject; Updates on the Pulwama attack, gruesome pictures of the site and prayer requests.

After a while, I stopped responding to these beeps. Starring at the blank school corridor, I go back in time.

Uri Sector – Year 2002.

As a Commissioned Officer of the Indian Army, I set upon my first mission, winning hearts and minds of the people in our area of responsibility, the Uri Sector. In two years’ time, Uri saw a beautiful patch blossoming amongst the orchards, Army Goodwill School Uri for the local children of that area for whom till then, daily curriculum was violence and destruction. This school with a new ray of hope, portrayed a better life and curriculum to them, which they in unison with their parents welcomed wholeheartedly. Army Goodwill school Uri was there to stay and it has.  Mission accomplished I penned down, as this young foster mother proceed to her next mission.

Officers Training Academy and Indian Military Academy – Year 2004 to 2007.

Year 2004-2007, Here my kids were a grown up lot, all graduates and post graduates, very focussed, had a passion and vision in them, to Serve our motherland with honour and pride. Completely immersed in the training of Cadets and in turning them into not only warriors but scholar warrior, I see myself too growing up and evolving as a better individual.

As I move on with my life, I see my boys and girls discharging their duties exceptionally well and all gaining proficiency in their respective fields.  And this mothers heart swells with pride; yes I feel the same, Mission Accomplished.

There were instances wherein, I had to put a brave front while receiving news of martyrdom of some of my brave hearts, in the call of duty, as they laid down their lives for the nation. With a heavy heart this mother jots down, Mission Accomplished.

Daffodils English School – Present Day.

Having hung my uniform and boots and mother to two lovely angels, to keep my passion for nurturing life, I join Daffodils English School. Just a year has passed, with me dealing with the transition and looking ahead to profound satisfaction.

 Children have been accommodative, I should say to my way of functioning, and the sparkle in their eyes says they are with me in my mission, as my journey continues.

Today, a day after the Pulwama attack, as I step into school, feeling totally devastated, helpless, dejected and not able to share feeling of my tribe, I with the teachers and students gather for the morning assembly.

I hear the head girl with rage and anguish, narrate the Pulwama incident, fervently asking the students to leave no stone turned, in lending a helping hand to the forces and to pray for the martyrs and speedy recovery for the injured. My eyes sparkles with tears, as I feel that after all, we are not fighting a lost battle. There is still hope and the ‘mission’ can still be a successful one. My heart says, it will be!

Mission to raise and mould a better human being, who are able to identify the good and bad of everything around, to sustain oneself as a better individual in this world full of challenges and to impart the same to fellow beings.

Now, as I look into the school corridor filled with my present lot of students …. The Daffodalians….. My next Mission commences …….

Jai Hind!!!! 

Major Neethasha Hebbar K (Retd)

How I met Na’vi from Avatar

I am Major Neethasha Hebbar K , a commissioned officer from Indian Army, served in Operational areas and was involved in training Officer Cadre, and transforming them into not only warriors but scholar warriors.

My topic for today is “How I met Na’vi  from  Avatar”

I can see many tangled looks .

Yes people I did meet Na’vi  !!

Now the story goes like this ……..

I preferred two stars on my shoulders better than millions in the sky

I preferred to wear dog tags and combat boots to work than pearls and sensible shoes

I choose to do the impossible

I choose to be a soldier

An Indian Army officer

The pride of our nation!

Served in the Educational corps for ten years , trained and groomed 2000 scholar warrior, the present officer lot in the Indian army and yes… I take great pride in saying this.

Ok let me continue…..

Days and years passed by , got married to an infantarian, mothered two brats Aditya  and Ayan .

The need to be with my boys made me quit my job, but yes the confidence of getting back at the opportune moment was very strong . Six years passed by I am a full fledged home maker.

The army posting cycle …… got us to Bangalore after residing in most of the remotest and border areas in India.

With 30 plus black trunks and n number of cartons fully loaded in truck and  my angel now turned devils two in number ,came to the most happening city Namma Bangaluru.

With kids in school, I decided to pursue my dream…. Got the right platform through the Iron Lady program.

The intensity of the program was catching up, long sessions….longer assignments

 but I didn’t want to give up , I was so very confident of self that I can do it again….. as I have all the 15 OLQ still ingrained in me.

It was one of those days, long long ILP session …loaded with assignment, this mom gets back home. With a given time I had to finish my household chores, look after my devils ….sorry my angels ……do my assignment, mail it, get the feedback ,amend if required, again mail and wait for the response.

To finish the task in hand as fast as possible ….. I took the younger one for shower, along with his dirty canvas shoes to be washed and laundry to be done. I told him, “Junior, you are old enough to do your own task and help your Amma out”. Like a dedicated soldier he followed my instruction and in no time I finished my laundry, the shoe was sparkling white and I gave him a bath.

Next was my elder sons turn…… gave the same instruction and I settled in front of the laptop to finish my assignment. So immersed was I that I didn’t know it was nearly an hour …..and Aditya  still not out of the wash room. I jumped from my bed and barged into the wash room ……

People, it was here that I meet Na’vi ….

Aditya wanted to impress his mom he wanted his shoes shine better than juniors … he opened the bathroom cubboard and in the process of taking the Blue Robin liquid , which was half closed, dropped it with his butter finger all over him , over the white tiles and on the white canvas shoes .

Now knowing his moms temper he was in a frantics effort to clean and cover up the mess. But in vain . It was here that I enter the scene…. My  Na’vi was cute , lil plumpy and without a tail….. not scary but scared.

I restrained all my rising temper and just smiled at him …. And now my extra duty starts ….. A work which would have finished in an hours time , I took complete two hours to scrub scrub scrub and clean up Aditya, the tiles and the shoes.

Lesson learnt …….never mix Time Management , Multi tasking with Parenting .

I havent failed , but I just found ten thousand ways that won’t work

Since all present here are in  same shoes …I  feit better to share some of the tips/ lessons I grasped out of this episode.

Time Management and working mom:

v   Don’t fall into Multi tasking trap

v  Tackle your hardest thing first

v  Take advantage of in between minutes

v  Pause Before Saying Yes

v  Assign a time limit to everything you do

v  Keep one calendar

v  Have a day-care Plan B (and C, and D). 

v  Learn how to delegate. (If I was smart and sensible in delegating the task I would have caught up on my sleep too….)

With this I would culminate by stating…..

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us

And don’t ever ever ever compromise parenting with any other task, as …..

What you will remember is the time you spent – time you truly spent, physically and mentally – with those you love

Sometimes you will never know the value of those precious moments until it becomes a memory.

Happy living!!

THE HOLIDAY DIARY : A ‘SKILL’ NOT TO LEARN THIS SUMMER

The academic session 2017-18 had been very eventful, frenzied and a fruitful one. From relocation, to setting up of house, settling kids into new school and finally the job hunt, which materialized by the end of the session; all was a roll a coaster ride! With the onset of summer and the most eagerly awaited vacation, we were all bent on rewarding ourselves for the year well spent and most of all to be with that member of the family who is always away, never part of any of our celebration and who is missed by one and all every minute, every second…… nevertheless, his absence is never regretted as it was for a greater cause, “Service to Nation”.

With the sky-high expectation and excitement, we reach our holiday destination. It is not Switzerland, Dubai, Singapore or any indigenous destination like the Beaches of Goa, Hills of Darjeeling or the Deserts of Rajasthan…… but the current abode of our absentee member and to the kids as we introduce the place ; “The Paradise on Earth”, Kashmir.

As I am writing this, it’s the third week of our vacation. The enthusiasm, Spirit which was at its apex, now is almost hitting the ebb. Confined to the four walls of the camp, smaller than our residential complex back home and moreover the pouring of unpleasant news every next day has dampened the holiday spirit.

To bring the situation under control and to no further spoil the youngsters’ vacation, I start planning activities and games for the boys to keep them engaged and to ascertain that they don’t get affected by the unpleasant happening in the near environs. The activities chalked out for next couple of weeks goes like this; Start the day with the school holiday homework, inculcate new hobby like photography with dad’s DSLR, develop new skill like reading /chess, whatever outdoor games that can be learned and played in the present available ground and finally the most awaited hour or two with the idiot box.

Pretty happy with what has been planned, this mother approached the boys and gives an elaborate illustration of the holiday plan. To my utter dismay the reply and response was very disheartening. With genuine concern and curiosity the elder son puts across his point, “Amma, Don’t you think the new skill which we should learn now is stone pelting and to how to save ourselves from it.” And believe me, this ‘shrapnel reply’, ‘stoned me’ into that thinker statue of renaissance for a while.

From the day we have arrived, we have been receiving news on stone pelting in different parts of Kashmir ; school bus attacked and school kid being hit, tourist being targeted and hit, local villagers being hit, security forces vehicles being hit, mob screaming and hurling of tear gas and the latest a tourist being killed and the subsequent repercussions.

In a matter of twenty days residing in midst of all this turmoil, if these young souls could get affected by these happening, what would be the state of the mindset of the young brains of Kashmir, the next generation upon whom is trusted the bright future of this beautiful paradise.

Taking a moments break, as I recover from the jolt just struck, I immediately get into the role of a responsible mother in explaining to the kids the situation, in a language they understand and explaining them that ;

“Stone pelting is not a skill to be learned if you want to be a better and responsible citizen;

Not a skill to be learned, if you want a bright and wonderful future,

Not a skill to be learned, if you want peace,

Not a skill to be learned, if you want the world to be ‘better place for you and me’

Not a skill to be learned, if you want to enjoy your vacation.”

This small article has been penned with the whole & sole intention of urging all mothers to be aware of the environs and educate your children as they get influenced fast and thoughts good / bad get etched in their tiny brains for a life time. So lets groom and mould them  in a manner that when choice is given they  undoubtedly choose the right path and paint a beautiful world as the future is theirs.

Happy Living !!!

This was me a decade back ......!!!!!!

AN OFFICER AND ......A MOTHER !!

Hello there,

This is my story

My Precious last ten years.

Simple, demure, delicate was I

As people normally describe,

Joins Indian Army,

Clinging to the faith of many well wishers,

"Yes, You have it in you ...you can do it."

Question rises amongst all known

Is this the right profession?

So was I perplexed.

Determined, stern and with vigour

Joins the Army

WOOOO.....!!!!

What was that !!!

A roller coaster ride !!!

Those six months ....In scorching sun,

Beautifully kneaded, moulded and perfected

To adorn the most deserving Green 

The Olive Green 

To become an Army Officer

The next six years

Cruised through the valley of kashmir

With a mission

Committed to a cause ...."AMAN ."

Responsibility increased manifold

To be a role model

Grooming / nurturing the cadets.

Oh Boy .....Am I a good officer?

Yes, Sincere was I to the core

And an asset said my report.

And a successful one ?

Wait Friends....

Story is yet to continue....!

Seventh year

Enters My "MR PERFECT" AN OFFICER

An Army couple...."Made for each other" 

Cheered the crowd.

Now comes the bitter part.

Separation....Enemy of our togetherness

Helpless and desolate

"QUIT" said my hubby dear

Beaming with feminism

"No" Came the answer

Fought like cats and dogs

There goes the marriage, confirmed all.

So deep was his love , his understanding

Held my hand and again 

Together we sailed through 

The Sour and bitter times.

In midst of turbulence and turmoil,

Comes our bundle of joy....Our Son.

I am a Mother now.

"You will always be protected.

Never Will I part with you 

I am always there for you " I Promised

But ....Surprise !

There was something else in store

In peak of summer and midst of stormy desert

This mother was send away from her little one .

Surprise as I said 

Are people blind?

All I ask is to be with my little one.

But the lord of circumstances

Exercises his power on the paltry

Fear makes the bystander mum

Who will bell the cat ....none.

Bygone years flashes in front.

Sacrifice is the word.

The colourful glittery youth

Togetherness with the beloved 

And now .....My Son.

Like a wounded Lion I Roar..

"I QUIT"

Sorry my love, my beloved

Late did I realize, but did I.

"I am not meant for Army

Neither Army for me"

Adieu to all uniformed , disciplined

And highly committed soldiers.

And to my Cadets, now Officers

DARE NOT 

I repeat 

Dare not show your impiety

And disregard and belittle

A uniformed mothers plight.

Time management and working mothers

TIME MANAGEMENT AND WORKING MOTHERS

We as woman are bound by manifold targets, goals and objectives compared to men folks. Whether we like it or not these targets are supposed to be achieved within the stipulated time. At times, correction, most of the time most of these targets cannot be prioritized and fall in the same category of FLASH (the topmost priority given in army) thereby making our task, even the simplest most stressful.

The easiest and the only solution to this situation is TIME MANAGEMENT.

This article is mainly prepared to make our task simpler and effectively accomplish it and lead a stress free life.

For easy assimilation the topic has been divided in to three parts:

1.     What is Time management?

2.     Time management for career women

3.     Time management for working mothers

Time management , as per WIKIPEDIA is the process of planning and exercising conscious control over the amount of time spent on specific activities, especially to increase effectiveness, efficiency or productivity. It is a juggling act of various demands of study, social life, employment, family, and personal interests and commitments with the finiteness of time. Using time effectively gives the person "choice" on spending/ managing activities at their own time and expediency.

Time management and career women

 We aren’t going to create our dream career if we feel like there is not enough time in the day. In order to be able to master our  career , we have to be able to master our life right now. That starts with good time management habits.

First, we master our time and productivity so our calendar and to-do list actually make us happy, not stressed.

Discipline and Planning

One of the biggest time management mistakes is just doing whatever comes our way instead of having exact times. Discipline and planning are required if we want to achieve our career goals.

Set Boundaries

 It’s so important to realize what our priorities are and to guard that time as much as possible. Prioritize  time with family and self .Keep aside socializing and social media when it comes in conflict with self n family time.

Categorize Time and batching

One of the most important time management habits is to categorize time. Write down all the tasks, at work, administrative and personal. Batching is when we group similar tasks into blocks of time.  During this time there are no distractions. Every time we are distracted, it takes 15 minutes to regain complete focus again.

I am Time

Embrace one profound simple truth and that is we are where time comes from. Say to oneself “I acknowledge that I am the source of my time.” And our stress will disappear the moment we accept that and we really claim ownership of it.

The Pareto Principles

The Pareto Principle states that 20% of our input creates 80% of our results. Focus on the 20% that will get the results we want. That means we must really focus on what is working when launching dream career or business. We need to focus on the 20% of what is going to make the difference to save time and get faster results. 80% of what we are doing right now could be a waste of time.

 Free Up Your Time

Because our career goals are SO IMPORTANT right now and are really going to determine the rest of our future and happiness, we need to be very focused and selfish with our time management.

Make a Morning Ritual

Morning routine consists of journaling, meditating, listening to affirmations, reviewing vision board and goals, and reading, praying, and exercising. This will completely change one’s life and outlook on the day ahead, rather than checking mails, texting and other gadget related stuff

Find Ones Best Time

Not everyone can jump out of bed in the mornings and get to work. Not everyone can do his or her best work from 1 am-4 am.  When are we the most focused?  Morning, afternoon, or night? Spend the best time focusing on what is the most important to self – job searching, launching our business and getting our career unstuck.

Wake Up Earlier

The more decisions we make in the day, the less energy we have for our passions, dreams, and goals. Make the best decisions and do our best work on launching our dream career or business first thing in the morning!

 Limit Your Priorities

When it comes to time management habits, focus on ONE THING at a time. It’s time to make a list of everything we need to get done this week. Then, prioritize the list in order of importance. Our priorities should be the tasks that will make the biggest difference.

 Plan Your Weekly Review

How do I plan out my week for success so I am not stressed? I go into Monday knowing exactly what I am going to do for the week. My biggest time management secret is my Friday afternoon weekly review.

Remember to take baby steps! There is no need to implement all time management tips tomorrow. Take it slow to be a more productive rock star and be less stressful.

 Time management and working mothers

To say that working mothers are busy these days is an understatement—I raised two children while working my way up so I know just how elusive and valuable spare time can be. Even the busiest mom can carve out pockets of breathing room from even the craziest day. Whether you use it to work, to care for others or to care for yourself so much can be achieved in those “hot minutes.” While little blocks of “bonus time” are helpful for everyone, working mothers know how to really make them count—even a 15-minute window can feel like an hour’s worth of potential.But I don’t have to tell you that. Like most working moms,  life is most likely choreographed down to the minute. There are ways to take the fine art of doing more with less time to the next level. Here are some valuable tips.

1. Spend enough time sleeping. Prioritize sleep needs so one can thrive. You’ll drag all day and ultimately waste time if under-rested. Schedule sleep like any other activity and go to bed at bedtime so can function the next day. (And enforce kids’ bedtimes too. It’s good for them and for us.)

2. Establish sane work hours. Before committing to taking a new role, validate alignment of expectations for work hours with potential employer. Life commitments and job projects will ebb and flow, so be sure to check in periodically to make sure that expectations have not changed. Many working mothers reserve nights and weekends exclusively for family.

3. Embrace the power of “No.”  Saying no can be tough, but it is a skill that frees up time one wouldn’t otherwise have access to. Further, watching us enforce limits teaches our kids the value of setting boundaries.

4. Set attainable daily goals. A to-do list is useless if it’s too ambitious. What’s the point of writing down unachievable tasks? We’re not superheroes and shouldn’t try to be. Make daily goals realistic enough to complete. Remember, we can always do more if we have the time.

5. Don’t even try to multitask. People perform better when they give focused attention to the task at hand. When at work, stop worrying about dinner; when  helping kids with studies don’t  be involved in any other chores, give full attention to kids.

6. Let go of perfection. It doesn’t exist, therefore you can’t achieve it. Instead of obsessively cleaning an already clean-enough house, or toiling toward intangible ideals (like being the “perfect” mom or having the “perfect” figure), figure out a more practical use for your time.

Let others manage their responsibilities themselves. This includes  children, spouse and colleagues.

7. Step away from the Internet. Surfing the web is a huge time waster for parents and children. An innocent little break can turn into hours of wasted time . Establish limits on how much screen time you and your kids get, and then unplug once  reached that limit.

8. Have some fun along the way. Stressed-out people aren’t all that productive. We need relaxation to avoid burnout at home and at work. Make time for vacations, long weekends, and family fun to keep grounded and joyful.

9. Get present so you can be productive. Mindfulness allows us to tune into the task at hand. Practices like yoga or meditation can help focus, and focus drives productivity. Embrace the method that speaks to us, and tune back in when we catch our self drifting.

10. Stop owning other people’s stuff. . We all tend to take on more than our share of responsibility and it’s a real time waster. Let others manage their responsibilities themselves. This includes our children, spouse and colleagues
.

11. Let go and delegate. Learn to know when to let someone else handle a task. Relinquishing control is tough, but it’s also necessary to allow others to pitch in. Delegating is not admitting defeat. Rather, it’s about maximizing the potential of entire network.

One can “get it all done” in the time in hand—and have sweet moments of freedom left over. All we need to do is implement a few smart rules upon our daily routine. And when we do find that we have created some leftover room for something new, be sure to do something wonderful and kind for self. We deserve it.

References:-

Wikipedia

www.workingmothers.com

www.classycareergirl.com